A blessing in Disguise

Things don't always happen they way you plan, at least not for me. I have been day dreaming about this whole birthing process! Yes even the pain. I know it sounds crazy to "want" to experience the painful part but when the choice gets taken away nothing is harder! This is my journal right, so I'll be honest. I haven't cried this hard in a long time, a very long time. But when I found out yesterday that my Dr was considering a C-section I broke down. First off, I couldn't believe that his size was a big enough matter to do such a procedure. Women push out big babies all the time. So they tell me the Dr will call at 8:30 this morning to talk to me about it, well the call came but it was the nurse again and all she said was the Dr needs you to come in at 11 to "chat" about the plan. Um HELLO! So I call Patrick freaking out, why would they need to see us in person? What did they need to tell me in person that they couldn't tell me over the phone?! My stomach was in knots all morning! Sweet Patrick rushed home to be with me, I think he knew I needed a distraction. Luckily everything is ok. Maddox is healthy, just BIG and HEALTHY. haha. My Dr simply wanted to go over the risks of a vaginal birth in person and explain to me in person. The U/S results showed that he is close to 9lbs. I guess its not always accurate so he could be anywhere from 8-10 lbs. Yikes. She also apologized because she had no way of knowing he was big because I've measured normal this whole time. I happened to mention to her that Patrick was 9 lbs 4 oz and I was almost 8lbs. She said Drs usually don't do ultrasounds this late on but she felt like she needed to. Boy am I glad she is intune with the spirit. I guess if we tried a vaginal birth everything could be just fine but the risks are higher that she would have to break his clavicle bone or arm bone to get his shoulders out which increases the risks of nerve paralysis in the neck and face. I'm sorry but those risks are not worth it!!! She said who knows, we could do a C-section and he could end up being only 8lbs but a planned C-section is better than an emergency one if it came to it. So after praying A LOT and trusting in my sweet husband and Dr I think this will be best. The fun part is I know exactly when he is going to be here. So happy birthday tomorrow Maddox! I'm already a freaked out first time mom but I'm ok with that. I'm just so grateful they didn't have any bad news.